Working Mother

Well, I survived my first day back to work since William's birth. I didn't cry today. I got it all done yesterday. It just about broke my heart this morning to walk out the door and leave my baby. I felt better when I got to work and my principal announced my return at morning assembly and all of my students started screaming like mad and I got a billion and one hugs after assembly. They sincerely missed me which I really didn't expect. Then I got home and read Snarfle's blog and almost cried again because I am so jealous that she is getting to stay home with her baby.

I know I'm not the first woman to go back to work when her baby is 8 weeks old. I know that hundreds of thousands of children with working mothers have turned out just fine. I never dreamed I'd be one who would want to stay home with my baby because I am such a social person. But here I sit, looking at my sweet baby knowing that every day I'll wonder what I'm missing. The women I work with assure me that it will get easier. I'm sure they're right but from where I'm sitting it seems awfully difficult to believe.

My sweet husband, in the midst of all of my tears last night offered to take a second job so I could stay home. I won't do that because it is just as important to me that he is around for William as it is that I am. I know that going back to work is what is best for my family. But, it dosen't mean it's easy.