Contortionist

The body contortions required to be a mother are mind boggling! I came to this conclusion yesterday while driving home with William after a trip to my school to turn in grades, a trip to Wal-Mart for some groceries, and a third very short trip to buy Ben's birthday present. Needless to say, after all of this excitement little guy was a little grumpy and ready to go home. When we left the last store he was just starting to get hungry so I plugged in the pacifier thinking "This will work until I can get him home because he always sleeps in the car anyway." Wow, how wrong I was.

We were sitting at the light waiting to make our turn onto Main St. when he starts fussing. I knew he'd lost his pacifier and I knew if I didn't get it back in, he'd be in full-on melt down mode by the time we got home (which could take up to 30 minutes in Friday afternoon traffic). This is where the afore mentioned body contortions began. First of all, I don't know how many of you have noticed, but I don't have very long limbs. So I try to reach back into the car seat. Nope, I can barely touch the top of the car seat, can't even touch the baby more or less dig around for a pacifier.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to drive safely in crazy traffic while planting your feet on the floor, arching your back, lifting your butt up off the seat, and dislocating your shoulder to find the magic plug that will keep your child from completely freaking out? Well, I do. It wasn't easy but I accomplished to get it done and he dutifully sucked on it about four times, fell asleep, and spit it back out. But, that's okay because he did sleep the rest of the way home and about another 30 minutes after we got home giving me time to put away groceries.

There are a few other amazing physical feats that only come with motherhood. Such as the "cradle the phone against your shoulder and change a diaper" feat. Then there's the "dig your keys out of your purse to unlock the car while carrying your purse, a huge diaper bag, and a baby in a carrier" routine. And of course my favorite, the "hold the screaming baby while making a bottle for him and keep dinner from burning" combination.

At this rate, I'll be circus material in no time. (No midget jokes please!)